Recently I wrote an article for another blog about balancing my life with my tango addiction. It was a difficult post to write. My life is not in balance. And truthfully, at times, I don't want to balance it.
I want to revel in the milongas and avoid the world outside for as long as I can - the world of money problems, job stress, health issues. When times are tough economically (especially in our work relationships) it can become an "every man for himself" atmosphere and you feel that no one "has your back." Turning on the news is no help at all. There's so much uncertainty in our lives. The milonga is refuge from that. When the rest of my life makes me feel exhausted, like I'm barely able to tread water, the milonga feels like a life raft I can rest in for awhile. It's hard to give that up when the time comes, and go back to the outside world.
To balance that, I have to remember the treasures I have outside. My husband, my family, my friends (amazingly, I still have some non-tango friends. I can't believe it either.) What would I be doing to help my relationships if I didn't have tango to buoy myself?
I would reach out to people close to me - and to people I've let drift away. I would look for ways to make new connections. I would expand my world with new people, new perspectives, new places. That still has to happen. In order for my life to be in balance, I have to bring the color and light and comfort of my tango world, to the other parts of my life. Not by forcing tango on everyone (would that I could!) but by helping other people find their own path to comfort and renewal.
For example, my husband finds comfort in good company and good food - maybe some jazz. Or maybe a movie out with friends. Tango is never going to be his comfort zone. But I can help him enjoy those activities that *are* his comfort zone. Finding balance is reminding myself to connect to people on their terms, not feeling dejected that they can't connect with me on mine.
(That's me and my DH having fun at a party that had nothing to do with tango. :) )
I want to revel in the milongas and avoid the world outside for as long as I can - the world of money problems, job stress, health issues. When times are tough economically (especially in our work relationships) it can become an "every man for himself" atmosphere and you feel that no one "has your back." Turning on the news is no help at all. There's so much uncertainty in our lives. The milonga is refuge from that. When the rest of my life makes me feel exhausted, like I'm barely able to tread water, the milonga feels like a life raft I can rest in for awhile. It's hard to give that up when the time comes, and go back to the outside world.
To balance that, I have to remember the treasures I have outside. My husband, my family, my friends (amazingly, I still have some non-tango friends. I can't believe it either.) What would I be doing to help my relationships if I didn't have tango to buoy myself?
I would reach out to people close to me - and to people I've let drift away. I would look for ways to make new connections. I would expand my world with new people, new perspectives, new places. That still has to happen. In order for my life to be in balance, I have to bring the color and light and comfort of my tango world, to the other parts of my life. Not by forcing tango on everyone (would that I could!) but by helping other people find their own path to comfort and renewal.
For example, my husband finds comfort in good company and good food - maybe some jazz. Or maybe a movie out with friends. Tango is never going to be his comfort zone. But I can help him enjoy those activities that *are* his comfort zone. Finding balance is reminding myself to connect to people on their terms, not feeling dejected that they can't connect with me on mine.
(That's me and my DH having fun at a party that had nothing to do with tango. :) )
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