My Tango Diaries

"I prefer to explore the most intimate moments, the smaller, crystallized details we all hinge our lives on." Poet Rita Dove Intimate 1600–10; intim ( us ) a close friend (n. use of the adj.) - characterized by or involving warm friendship or a personally close or familiar association or feeling, - (of an association, knowledge, understanding, etc.) arising from close personal connection or familiar experience, - worn next to the skin, - showing a close union or combination of particles or elements: an intimate mixture, - inmost; deep within, - of, pertaining to, or characteristic of the inmost or essential nature; intrinsic, - of, pertaining to, or existing in the inmost depths of the mind, In the US, the word "intimate" is a loaded word. When I say I have close, intimate friends - the meaning could be innocent (itself a misleading, and loaded, word.) But if I say feel an intimate connection with my partner when we dance (especially when we talk about tango), sudd

In 1990-91, I spent several months learning the Japanese tea ceremony. Depending on how you learn the process, it can have over 90 steps and though the etiquette, use of the implements, and order of steps is very strict, the possibilities of expression and creativity within that structure are endless. Preparation for the ceremony, from the materials, implements, food to the location of the ceremony itself, can be daunting. Frequently, the preparation can take far longer than the ceremony itself. Depending on the occasion, the season, the space, and the people - the ceremony can express many different things. It can celebrate the changing of the seasons, an anniversary, or mark an important event. Mostly though, it is a gift from one person, the host, to the guest(s). It is a gift of time, peacefulness, stillness, and of devoted attention. For the duration of the ceremony, host and guest are occupying a space of their own apart from the rest of the world. Neither person is of higher o

Another follower and I were discussing the futility of make-up at the milonga. These days I can manage to keep mascara and eyeliner on - everything else is gone in about half an hour. So I don't bother with much else. Plus, when dancing close embrace, I can't imagine leaders would be all that thrilled to share my make-up. Every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of my reflection and I ready myself to flinch. But then I realize there's rarely anything to flinch at. I look how I'm supposed to look. I'm happy with the flushed face and freckles. Why shouldn't I be, right? It's only a surprise to me because I have more than a dozen years of training tell me that I should be unhappy . I'm a refugee from the beauty industry. Almost two decades as a makeup artist, more than ten years in the skin care field, and a year as a trainer. When I started in the industry, the most fundamental sales technique was instilling a constant and pervasive sense of dissatisfaction

I'm too sleepy to do the full blow-by-blow of the milonga tonight. Besides, I 've kind of already covered how much I love Esquina's milongas generally - and this one was every bit as good. I didn't get to dance with everyone I'd wanted to - but every dance I had was wonderful. Tonight was just a reminder of the gift that tango is in my life. Every dance, every conversation, and hug, and smile - is a gift. And I'm so grateful.

I have taken professional classes in all manner of topics - writing, photography, cooking, makeup artistry - tons. I've left those classes feeling secure in my knowledge, even victorious over mastering some new skill. Tango classes aren't really like that. When you leave tango workshops, you generally have a grocery list of new things you get to work on, new areas where you now know that you're weak. In apilado class, we covered a style I've been wanting to learn very badly - but enthusiasm will only take you so far. Then you have to get to work. And work hard. I still pulled my shoulders back. I still wasn't bending my knees enough or extended my leg back far enough - or rather starting the motion where it was supposed to start, much higher up. And if I worked on one part, I stopped working on others - like keeping my ankles together. In apilado position, you become much more aware of your comfort and that of your partner. You're suddenly aware of how tall yo

My tango experience has combined three of my favorite activities - dancing, writing and photography. I think that's what makes this such a thorough addiction. Tango has worked it's way into so many parts of my life. Still, it's very challenging. I have a husband (who does not dance), a job, two shiba inu (dogs), and one nutty cat. Essentially, I have a full time home life, full time job and full time hobby. My morning starts at 5:30am. I stumble to my office (sometimes I remember my glasses, most of the time I don't) turn on the monitor and open Firefox. It's usually about that time I remember I don't have my glasses on and have to go fetch them. If it's Wednesday, I'm extra sleepy because of the Tuesday night milonga, which usually puts me in bed around midnight or 1am the night before. I log on to my email before I do anything else and open the same five tabs. 1. Gmail - I usually have 5 or 6 emails from tango dancers that I need to answer first thin

Those of you readers who are also on Tango Connections may have seen my post about abrazo apilado asking if the apilado embrace was widely used in different communities. Locally, tango salon is more widely danced than either milonguero or apilado (though the line between milonguero and apilado can be blurry.) Though it's rare, when I have had the opportunity to be led in that style, I really enjoyed the embrace and the musicality of it. So, fast forward to yesterday when I get an email announcing that Daniela Arcuri is going to be teaching a class on Tango Apilado on Saturday. What are the chances??? I can't believe my luck! Not only will I get to learn and practice the technique, but I'll get to see who else has an interest in that style! You can see another example of apilado style with Tete Rusconi here and a video here .

Responses to the interview questions are still filtering in and I find that some of my original assumptions (some of which I wasn't even aware of) have needed adjustment. The original questionaire can be found here . The biggest assumption I had made was that those people who credit their tango experience with improving their physical health would attribute that improvement *only* with tango. In fact about a third of the respondents said that they got just as much benefit from other forms of dance. Tango may even be their favorite form of dance at the moment, but those respondents cited that it was dance itself, physical activity and connection to the music, that brought the benefit. Other observations: - Very few of the respondents have cited strong connection to tango music itself (I am referring here to traditional tango music) as part of the experience of health improvement. Any music that makes you dance seems to be the important thing. Of those participants who did find parti

There is much discussion lately, on forums and blogs, about three organizers of a Hong Kong milonga establishing their venue according to traditional Buenos Aires codas. At Las Chinitas, men, women and couples will be seated separately. The cabeceo is to be used. Dancers will never start inviting people to dance before the first song of the tanda is played. You can read the full set of rules here: http://laschinitashk.blogspot.com/ I can certainly see the usefulness of many of the codes, but I think there would always be a portion of the community who would feel stifled at having such rules put into place. For me there is only one major code that I think I would have trouble with in the beginning at least - separating everyone by gender (and couples). I'm used to being able to socialize with dancers of both genders, so even though I admit to spending my time mostly with other followers, I would have hard time getting used to not having the option of having a conversation with a lea

An update on "Dancing through the scariest things in tango" Before you start reading this, commit to reading it to the end. I'm writing the bad news first and the good news at the end. But I'll give a preview to the good news - Dancing tango is worth every bit of it. Here's the original list from April 13th, 2009 1. Being the least experienced dancer in class. (I missed the first two classes.) 2. Being the last person picked as a partner (in the same class as above. No one wanted to dance with the absolute beginner.) 3. Being the worst (least experienced) dancer at a milonga. The mix is different at every milonga. Sometimes there are other beginners (from your class for example) and sometimes you're the only beginner there. Very rough but worth going! 4. Being dropped after the 1st song in a tanda because you can't keep up with the leader. 5. Being dropped after the 2nd song in a tanda because you can't keep up with the leader. (Does that mean I'm

Every time I walk into the milonga venue, no matter how many times I go to milongas, I have that nervous feeling. Where am I going to sit? Who's going to be there? How do I look? What if I dance badly? But the most pervasive discomfort is sitting alone. If I don't see anyone that I sit with regularly, I skirt the edge of the room (almost always to the right because of my lopsided vision) and take a seat by myself. Then I put on "the face". The face that says (or I hope it says) I don't mind sitting by myself - I'm just happy to be here . While it's true that I am just happy to be there at the milonga, I do mind sitting by myself. But walking up to an occupied table always feels intrusive. It happens less and less, as I make more friends, get more familiar with everyone. And some venues are better than others at encouraging interaction. At Esquina Tango in particular, there's almost no chance of having to seat by yourself since the tables are so close

This is another one of the ranty sort of posts that I've been debating about releasing from it's "Drafts" status. I may regret this, but I think it needs to be addressed. Milonga Manners My first milonga at Esquina Tango included the mini-beginner tango class (as it quite frequently does) and part of that class included instruction on using the cabeceo and other points of tango etiquette. This information was reinforced frequently by other tango dancers and teachers in the community. Even though I've been guilty of some missteps in navigating milonga protocol (see previous post on the folower's responsibilities regarding the cabeceo), I do try very hard to respect the codigos. Most of the "rules" of the milonga are there to keep everyone feeling comfortable and, in the case of the cabeceo, to save face. Because most of the dancers I encounter honor the codigos, I'd started taking for granted that everyone knew about them - that is was part of our

(Picture: “The Cabeceo” A great picture by Tom Gettelfinger of Memphis) I had a conversation with a fellow tango dancer a couple of days ago, outside of the milonga, and said to him it seems like ages since we danced and I was looking forward to seeing some of the new moves he'd been learning. He smiled and shrugged and said he'd tried to cabeceo a couple of time, but I was never looking - always chatting or dancing. Oh dear. It's true. In an effort to seem nonchalant about my desire to dance, sometimes I appear downright uninterested. When everyone else at my table is dancing or otherwise occupied, I do watch the milonga floor and make a little eye contact. Well, very little. Old habits die hard. I want to look interested, but not over-eager. And by over-eager, of course I mean desperate . I almost always dance as much as I want to dance, occasionally more than I *should* dance if my feet had a vote in this, but I still have that fear of looking needy. Also, part of the

From Eugene Grigoryev's "What is Tango" "The social aspect of milonga is fascinating. It holds anticipation, surprise, heavenly music, moments of contact and separation. The challenge and satisfaction of rhythmically moving in unison with another person is what lures us to Tango. The experience is both physical and surreal. In three minutes of a song, you can experience a rollercoaster of emotions, but you will not experience them alone. For those three minutes there will be a person embracing you, sharing what they are feeling with you… all without a single word being spoken… pure, raw emotions expressed through motion.”

I seem to be developing a pattern. Take class or a private. Work on something and start to see some improvement. Find out something else has started to suffer. Multitasking has never been my strength. For example, my instructors were able to help me work on breaking the habit of pulling my shoulders back away from my partner. But then I found I was using my hip (and collapsing my torso) to complete giros - especially when I got tired. When did I start doing that? Have I been doing it all along? When I focus on my musicality, my posture slips. When I strengthen my core, direct my energy - suddenly I'm walking on the outer portion of feet (and looking rather pigeon-toed.) Same answer as always, I know. Keep getting feedback and keep practising, practising, practising. < --Very Biased Rant--> (Special note to leaders reading this - please read the post all the way to the end.) In other news, I found out that lately there have been more workshops and classes on volcadas, ganchos

First let me say that I really love my neighborhood. My home base is centered around 182 and Spicewood Springs. On the southwest corner of that intersection is the greatest strip mall. It has the best coffee and cupcake shop, Cupprimo , an amazing cajun place, Sambets , several restaurants, locally owned shops (plus a Big Lots, Dollar General and a hardware store.) When I talk to owners, buy things in their shops and generally shoot the breeze - I'm talking with my neighbors. The same people I see walking their dogs and getting groceries at our local grocery store. That's my neighborhood. One new gem (well, new to me anyway - they've been there about a year actually) is Lovey's Loot. A vintage (as well as new merchandise) boutique that has everything a fashionable tango dancer would adore. Skirts and dresses with tons of style - but still completely danceable, plus evening gloves, scarves, fishnet stockings, fedoras, jewelry, wraps, ladies hats, slips, corsets - and so

When I arrived at Saturday's milonga, I felt I was in no condition to dance. My ears were ringing, I was exhausted, distracted, melancholy. Friday brought news of the death of a friend - a stupid, senseless death. I was angry at fate, maybe even at God, for taking a friend from this world in such a heartless way. It's been long enough now that I at least recognize that it's better to go and sit at the milonga, to listen to music and talk with friends, than to sit at home contemplating the unfairness of it all. Still, I was in no mood to dance. But I can't help smiling when I walk into Esquina Tango. No matter what's happened, how my day has been - walking up the steps to Esquina is like going to the home of a favorite relative. It's cozy and warm and welcoming. Milongas at Esquina always bring pleasant surprises. I don't know why or how that happens - but it happens every time I go. Tonight brought an old friend I hadn't seen in almost 15 years. I could

I've cried once during Poema . . . Of that one intoxicating poem, nothing is left between us, I say my sad goodbye, you'll feel the emotion,of my pain… Lyrics by: Eduardo Bianco Music by: Mario Melfi I consistently tear up through Sur and Adios Nonino... Nostalgias of things that have past, sand that life swept away, sorrow for the barrio that have changed, and bitterness for a dream that died. Sur - Lyrics by: Homero Manzi, music by Anibal Troilo I constantly have a handkerchief tucked into some pocket or article of clothing when I dance for precisely that reason. I also have a speech prepared for explaining the waterworks to bewildered partners. "No, I promise I'm not injured - you didn't step on me. Really, I'm just fine - just a bit emotional over that song." It's not just the song though. When it's happened, it's been a kind of alignment of factors. The right time, the right music, the right partner - the right dance. Not a perfect, flawl

I've created a Squidoo ("lens") page for Austin Spring Tango Festival and will be adding material as it becomes available. The main page for ASTF, http://www.austinspringtango.com/ will be updated with 2010's information soon. Meanwhile, feel free to leave feedback and let me know what you'd like to see! Austin Spring Tango Festival on Squidoo : http://www.squidoo.com/astf Central Texas Tango on Squidoo : http://www.squidoo.com/infinitetango

"If there was more room on this dance floor, I could really dance some tango!" I have heard variations of that same sentiment more than a dozen times over the past couple of months. And when I don't hear the words, I still feel it in their lead - the frustration, the impatient sigh. The dance my leader has in his head is not possible to dance on the floor in front of him. I can feel him crane his neck, quickly turn his head, shorten his breath - looking for daylight between the other couples on the milonga floor. The simple fact is, and has always been, you can't change the floor. So change the dance in your head. "If there was more room on this floor . . ." Tango was born on the crowded milonga floor. That's where it lives and breathes, in the small spaces between bodies, between breaths, between the notes. When the space gets too open, the connection drifts away or maybe it just evaporates. We get this moment, this alignment of music and connection, on