Skip to main content

Espejo (updated)

"I recall avoiding my own gaze for many, many years. It was somehow creepy, and this look-alike stranger returning my stare made me feel very uncomfortable. There was an aversion, no doubt fueled by the fear of discovering something grotesque, to looking into those eyes. Of catching myself in a lie; or seeing the hypocrite; of discovering that part of myself for which I needed to accept responsibility.The part that was responsible for my own misery. Because I knew, subconsciously perhaps, that if and when I ever did accept responsibility for myself, I’d have to do something about it, or I would never know peace. I would never be able to dance."

--The Tao of Tango, by Johanna Siegmann,"The Mirror Chapter", http://www.taooftango.com/PDF%20and%20Documents/Mirror%20Chapter.pdf


When I first started, I couldn't face you at all. I could look as far as your ankles before flinching and turning away. Technique classes where we must stand facing one another, you and I, are torture. My teacher points at you and says, "look! watch!" I nod, but look away again.

Now, I can reach your waist. I get that far only because at first I didn't recognize your legs. Narrower than when we'd started. More aligned. But still clumsy, stepping too heavily. Your waist is as far as I can look.

Sometimes, by accident, I see you. Again, I look because at first I don't recognize you. But as soon as I do, I look away. Very rarely, I catch your face over some leader's shoulder and wonder who you are looking so serene through half open eyes, smiling. Happy and sad at the same time. Where did that expression come from? How did you get here?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tim Ferriss and the Myth of Tango Mastery

Dear tanguero, I feel I should explain my reaction to your comments about Tim Ferriss. It touched a nerve and I didn't really explain my apparent hostility. It was certainly not meant for you. Several people have brought Tim Ferriss to my attention over this past year. I can usually make it a month before his name pops up again. For readers who are unfamiliar with him, he's the author of "The 4 Hour Work Week". He set a Guinness record for the most consecutive tango turns and has competed with his partner, Alicia Monti, at the Tango World Championship . As a social dancer the idea of a tango competition seems absurd. I don't think I will ever understand how something like tango could be judged - or why anyone would want it to be. But I digress. I think the most crucial detail of Ferriss's history, as I relate it to tango, is his winning Wired magazine's "Greatest Self-Promoter of All Time" . If there is any concept more out of synch with social ...
6 comments
Read more

"Proper" Tango Shoes

Periodically someone, usually a man, will be bring up the topic of "proper tango shoes." If he's referring to the problem (and dangers) of trying to dance in flip-flops, or mules, or platform shoes etc., those are definitely valid, and very helpful points to be made. The likelihood of damaging your feet is very high without the proper support of high quality shoes. My problem comes with the idea that the *only* proper tango shoes have 4" stiletto heels on them and fetish-worthy embellishments. (Okay, I'm pretty keen on the embellishments myself.) "goofy ballroomy shoes are a turnoff... get rid of them..." - Alex Tango Fuego (granted this is from 2007), http://alextangofuego.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-dance-or-not-to-dancebrutally.html And, in the comments on a blog post, Anonymous said... " This is a controversial one. If a follower isn't wearing tango shoes then it's usually a good sign she's not particularly good." From Ms. Hedgeh...
24 comments
Read more

Tango solidarity when it counts . . .

Some fellow tanguera-bloggers and I have been having a wonderful online "conversation" via blogs, Twitter, Facebook and email - about the importance of sisterhood and solidarity. You can find Stephanie's post, here and her follow up here , and then Tangocorazon's here . I was so bouyed by the idea of women bonding, helping and supporting each other that I took some things for granted. I took for granted that it would always be easy, enlightened as I am /*cough*/ to be the sort of consistently nurturing and helpful tanguera that I am (in my head) . The truth? Where the rubber met the road (or rather when the discomfort hit the milonga), I wasn't. Here's a little background that gave me a better perspective on the events at the New Year's Eve milonga. These guidelines appear under the heading " Behavior at the Milonga " on Vancouver Island Tango: " . . . The smaller the tango population, the more 'effort' required from each one of th...
7 comments
Read more