My Tango Diaries

(image courtesy of morguefile.com ) When I was in middle school I decided to take gymnastics. I have no idea, even to this day, what possessed me. It was, as the kids say, and epic fail . I was terrible at it. My balance was always bad. I had little-to-no natural grace. I seemed to run and jump about as if I were playing dress-up in someone else's body for the day. I could never get my limbs to do what I wanted them to do, when I wanted them to do it. As painful, and occasionally absurdly ridiculous, as that experience was, I managed to take away two lessons from my year in gymnastics: 1. Do the things that scare you. 2. "Stick the end" The first lesson is pretty self-explanatory - and it has always paid off well for me. Sticking the end , as my coach constantly reminded me, meant ending my routine resting in a balanced, stable position. If the routine was set to music, it was also a way of respecting and acknowledging the music. It meant learning precisely how much mome...

(Tango at a nightclub in Buenos Aires, 1924. Source: www.esnips.com ) A Scenario for Leaders: Your favorite orquestra begins to play and the follower you enjoy most for that music is looking for your cabeceo at just the right moment. You meet at the edge of the dance floor, look for the nod from the leader behind you, and as the first few bars play, you find the most blissful embrace in each other's arms. Just as you take your first step, another leader suddenly enters the line of dance, butt first, backing into your surprised partner. Oblivious to the run in, he takes off down the line of dance. The spell is broken and now you and your partner have to wonder if this tanda is going to be spent in "defensive driving" mode. This scenario, or a similar one, happens at almost every milonga I attend. This is after we had a very well attended workshop discussing, in detail, how to enter the line of dance. I've written about this before, and I've discussed it on forum...

Sometimes my mind goes down such useless roads. When things are going badly, it seems so easy to get lost in thorny tangles of what if I had? What if they had? What if I never? Maybe I would have finished college. Maybe I wouldn't live my life in pieces at a time. Maybe I would look further ahead than the end of the month. Maybe I wouldn't feel so raw so often. Maybe. But if the bad things hadn't happened . . . If better things had. If my route had changed . . . and my life changed . . . I wouldn't have met my husband . . . or his family that became my family . . . I wouldn't know the people I know who care so much for me and for whom I care so deeply. and tango . . . my life, all the ugliness and beauty, pain and elation, brought me to tango. So I've got to shake this off - this useless interrogation of the past. La vida es una milonga y hay que saberla bailar, Life is a milonga, you gotta dance to how it goes . . . So let's just dance Let your body tell m...

We've danced before - though not often. He visits rarely, and I'm always a little nervous when we dance. He is one of a very few dancers I know with who grew up with tango music. He was not always a dancer - but the music is his heritage and I can feel it. On those rare occasions when he visits Austin, and asks me to dance, I silently pray to the tango gods that every song in the tanda will be one that I know well. Though I know it is the leader's job to shape the interpretation of the music, when I don't know the piece, it feels like he can tell. (Now, this little panic is entirely my own making, as he's never said or done anything to make me think he was being the least bit critical of me - exactly the opposite, in fact.) Despite my case of nerves, I was very pleased to see his cabeceo. As I accepted with a nod and stood by my table, I noticed the dance floor was so empty. I suddenly felt very visible. I was even more nervous than before. My partner for the...

He invited me into his embrace and, as I always do, I looked down . . . and away. It's not just with him - I do it with almost every leader. I can finally use the cabeceo with relative ease, yet as I enter the embrace I'm still shy in making eye contact for more than a moment. The (few) previous times we've danced, he's just smiled and enveloped me. This time he stopped. He held me out from him for a moment or two longer and said, 'the embrace begins with the eyes.' He then smiled warmly and, in no particular hurry, invited me to settle into his embrace. The first song went by so fast that I was almost surprised to find myself on the other side of the room. As we separated between songs, once again my eyes sought out the floor. He softly cleared his throat, waiting, and when I looked up he smiled broadly. He held my gaze a second or two longer, and the welcomed me to into his embrace again. I'm learning. ( Image courtesy of morguefile.com )

Early Bird Registration is open for the Austin Spring Tango Festival 2011 Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com. AUSTIN SPRING TANGO FESTIVAL 2011 March 25, 26, and 27 Our Master Teachers will be: * Tomas Howlin and partner (TBA) * Cecilia Gonzalez * Somer Surgit * Anabella Diaz-Hojman * Mario Consiglieri * 18 Classes and 3 Milongas * Three levels of classes at all times * Milonga every night * Special Asada Milonga on Sunday

Etiquette At the milongas, I was very disappointed to see several "Master" teachers cut off and ignore other dancers behind them as they entered the line of dance. The cabeceo was more consistently used by local dancers, than by visiting dancers (though there were a few much appreciated exceptions). Floorcraft Over-use of the 8-count basic at the milonga was greatly reduced this year and floor craft was generally a bit better than last year. However it was a lot less crowded this year, too - making things much easier. That said, there was still far too much "teaching" on the milonga floor. As Alex wrote: "Do not ever teach or work through 'moves' on the dance floor at a social milonga. You are embarrassing yourself, and you are embarrassing the woman you are dancing with. We are embarrassed for you, and feel sorry for her." ( http://alextangofuego.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-couldnt-bear-to-watch-check-your.html ) Lack of food No surprise here. Hotels,...

Apparently, entering an elevator in a slinky dress, stiletto heels and fishnet stockings, without luggage, does not immediately make the other passengers on the elevator think "tango dancer". At least I wasn't wearing "over the knee" boots . . . (start around 2:35)

The Tango Festival A few days of living a fantasy tango life, for me it was a (short) milonga life. Eat, dance, sleep, dance. Repeat. Dancing with friends, old and new. Dancing with strangers. Unfamiliar music, and old favorites. The fiercest, raciest Pugliese tanda I've ever danced - was that really me? Hair in my face, breathless, heart racing - flying over, and yet still sinking into, the dance floor . . . yeah, that was me. A Hugo Diaz song that seared my heart and made me feel like I was dancing several inches into the ground. (That feeling of rough, wet soil under your feet, sinking a little, surrounding your toes, holding you to the earth . . . that's what Hugo Diaz feels like for me . . . ) Heart-melting vals sets, Joyful milonga tandas that pushed away every care and worry. The freedom to dance and dance and dance until I could hardly stand up. But the world, my non-tango life, marched on. It knew I would have to come out some time. Thank you to Dearest, Darlingest Hu...

I forced myself to wait for quite awhile before posting this. As it turns out, time isn't making me less annoyed, so here goes. For some reason (or maybe many reasons), I am simply infuriated by this: From Sherpal1 on Tango-L, "[To Michael] ...you are absolutely correct...woman show no sense of taste or discrimination...and it perpetuates the existence of clowns in a community...women need to know it is better not to dance than to dance poorly...i know of no other commodity that is consumed endlessly regardless of taste, excellence, value, expertise, effectiveness besides dance... woman just want to dance and they accept any old bone ....women need to bring their sense of consumerism to the dance floor and only accept the dance of a man that is their equal or better ....practicas are where a woman can assist an inferior dancer to be better. I do not want to seem harsh here, only to encourage women to stop rewarding bad leads with a dance...." There are so many problems w...

Does your expression match your words? (Picture courtesy morguefile.com ) There's been some great discussion going on around the blogs and tango forums about teaching - when to teach, best practices etc. And it's provided a lot of thoughtful material. I have strong opinions on the subject, but since I'm not a tango teacher, I wanted to wait and think on it for awhile before jumping in with my two cents as a student/consumer and as a trainer. I've mentioned in previous posts that in my former life as a makeup artist, I was a trainer for many cosmetic lines. I was also a trainer who trained trainers. I use that knowledge absolutely every day, and when I forget the lessons I learned in that environment, I'm almost always sorry for it. What I Learned Training Trainers: Everyone is Listening The last cosmetic retailer I worked and trained for had no commission structure. We were a team of 22 people selling every line (theoretically) without favor. I learned to maint...

I finally took a pre-milonga mini class with different local tango teachers, who tend to teach (though not always) open embrace, and more nuevo-style moves. They may classify things differently, but when the pattern you're teaching includes a few sacadas, a gancho and a high boleo, in open embrace - that falls into nuevo for me. The Embrace At first I was a bit excited because our teachers said this class was going to focus on connection. I thought, wow, how did we get so lucky? Then they demonstrated the pattern we were going to learn, and I got confused. The embrace was open, with the woman's left hand on the man's right tricep. We were to keep our arms (on the closed side of the embrace) relaxed but firm, and close to our sides so we could feel the "connection". When I felt awkward trying to maintain the embrace, the leader told me that I should really try to "grip" the man's tricep. The only time I have ever heard the term "grip" in ta...

Part 3: Making the Honeymoon Last, for other dancers . . . The Care and Feeding of New Tangueros/as NOTE: I am not a teacher and these are only my thoughts on what appears to work in my own community. I hear a lot of the same advice in other communities, so I'm pretty sure this is pretty applicable stuff. Please feel free to shoot down, comment, argue, debate, add, etc.) 1. From the very beginning, let them know the expectations of the community - the etiquette, floor craft, the ways of doing things, resources they can seek out for info on music, on history, on community affairs. Emphasize the community before the steps. The steps aren't going to keep them in tango - the community experience probably will. 2. Dance with them. 3. Spread the word. Talk them up. Introduce them around. For leaders, if appropriate, let them know who might be most likely to accept their cabeceo. (It's really best to check with potential tangueras beforehand.) And make sure they now how to use th...

Part 2: Making the Honeymoon Last Get Busy Note: This is about the Austin tango community and I'm told again and again, that Austin is the exception and not the rule. Your community might not be like this. But what if it could be? After I had been in tango for a short while, maybe 9-12 months of going to milongas/classes/workshops dancing 10-15 hours a week, I noticed a fairly sharp decline in invitations to dance. Some gentlemen who had been inviting me pretty regularly seemed to be moving on to the next round of new tangueras and it stung a little bit. I thought it meant that I wasn't new enough (or young enough) to be novel anymore, and not experienced or skilled enough to attract invitations based on my ability. The newer ladies coming in from the University's tango class were about half my age, and looked far better in their stilettos than I looked in my conservative 2.5 " tango t-straps. In short, I was bummed. It took awhile for me to more accurately gauge what...

Making the Tango Honeymoon Last - for you, and for other dancers too. Part I: Vignette "At the Crossroads . . ." Maestra: Grande! Grande! (exasperated sigh) You dance too small, too quiet. You hold too much back. Me (looking at my feet and feeling disproportionately defensive by her remark): Well, I get plenty of dances at the milonga. (I admit, not one of my better moments.) Maestra: (sigh) That is because you are simpatico . Despite the sound of it, Maestra was not criticizing me, or giving me a backhanded compliment with that description, however nor was she complimenting me. Her appraisal was almost completely neutral. I thought about that remark for weeks. What did she mean? Was I only getting dances because I was nice? Did she mean my dancing wasn't very good? Was I coasting? Did leaders just feel sort of bad for me and that's why they asked me to dance? Finally I came to a realization about myself and about what tango means to me. If I get danced as much as ...

From Wikipedia Media under Argentine Tango (Photographer: Christian Aastrup, 2004) Melina Sedo wrote, in the comments on her new blog, "Melina's Two Cents", " . . . please look at youtube-videos of famous dance couples: you'll find lots of rather homely, round or old famous Maestros, but very few of their partners will weigh more than 55 kilos or be elder than 35." I wanted to comment about this since it was mostly the dancers I have listed here, and the several outstanding local tangueras (all over the age of 50) that inspired me not only to start my tango journey, but inspired me when I was feeling down about my dancing. Here are a dozen famous milongueras and teachers all over the age of 35, in various shapes and sizes, dancing all over the world. (I decided to stop at 12 since I ran out of time - there are many, many more.) Maria Nieves Maria del Carmen Marcela Duran , still performing and touring with Forvever Tango Nito y Elba Garcia Neli, Coca, a...

There is a very popular belief that, when given the opportunity, tangueros will most often choose the younger, prettier (and often newer) tango dancers over the older, more experienced, or less attractive tangueras at the milonga. After all, the assumption goes, men are more visual, more interested in looks over quality etc. etc. Women, the assumption continues, are more interested in quality over appearance. Is that true? In my (granted limited) experience, sometimes yes, mostly no. That's the problem with generalizations - in the end, they just aren't helpful. They don't provide any real anwers. Assumptions and stereotypes accomplish little more than encouraging negative feelings - about others and about ourselves. "Leaders only want to dance with hot, new 20-something tangueras." "Followers only want to dance with advanced leaders who can help them 'level-up' in their dance." These comments and stereotypes are MOST hurtful to the people who ...

I know I should post my complete notes on Murat and Michelle's class before diving into something specific (and ranty), but this can't wait. M&M spent a great deal of time and effort, not just talking about etiquette on floorcraft, but demonstrating it. The two concepts I was most happy to hear about were the "male cabeceo" and leaders forming "trains" on the pista. For people who have traveled to Denver and some of the larger tango festivals, this wasn't new information, but it's something that isn't taught very often in our local classes. The male cabeceo - making eye contact (essentially getting approval) from the leader that will be behind you as you enter the dance floor with your partner. More on that from Miles Tangos ( Barefootango.com ): "Leaders when entering the line of dance, make eye contact with the on coming traffic of leaders and acknowledge that you’d like to enter the line of dance and ONLY enter when you have consente...

The ever-traveling photographer-tanguero, Neil Liveakos visited our community last month and took lovely photos at our milongas , including some gorgeous ones of Austin Piazzolla Quintet at Esquina Tango , and the one below from our Texas French Bread Restaurant milonga. (For some reason, my favorite pictures of myself are almost always in motion.)

EDIT: I left out two sentences from the reader in BsAs's comment, that I thought I had copied and pasted from drafts, but didn't. I shouldn't publish when I'm so sleepy . . . . I've gotten a tremendous amount of email regarding the last post, and I think you so much for all the feedback, both good and bad. There were a few things I wanted to share from my inbox that I thought might be enlightening, or didn't get addressed in the original post. From reader in BsAs who says, "followers should have no style of their own. Their job is to follow, that's all. (ADDED-->) Many followers say they are expressing the music when all they are really doing is back leading. Tango is not a democracy." I am not a piece of furniture , nor am I deaf . This topic is address rather well in a video here . From P in California, "Are there pictures of you somewhere in a post or something?" I don't know honestly. Maybe. I haven't seen any - at leas...

Gavito : "It's tango y nada mas. Tango and nothing else. And that's the tango..." "This is for those who use the Internet for a lot of hanky panky things, okay? If you use the Internet, use for the positive basis of tango, not negatives. Talk about the ones who dance well. Don't talk about the ones you don't like. Ignore them." I know it has always been this way, and this is probably wasted breath, but there is just so much negativity in the discussion of tango when it comes to the issue of styles and embrace etc.. I've reached some kind of critical mass and can't bite my tongue anymore. I am a fairly conservative tango dancer. I strongly prefer close embrace/milonguero/apilado embraces. (Or, as my teacher put it, I just like to be 'buttons to buttons'.) If you lead me a high boleo at a milonga, I'll follow it low and on the floor. It takes a pretty sparse pista to get my heel off the floor. So I'm definitely not one for ad...

Most of our assumptions have outlived their uselessness . Marshall McLuhan Tuesday at Texas French Bread Milonga with Glover Gill Glover Gill at Texas French Bread Bakery's Tuesday Milonga As always, I had so many wonderful dances with generous, gifted and warm-hearted tangueros at TFB. What is it about that place that brings such a beautiful feeling? I was in a state of joy from just about beginning to end. A tall tanguero arrived from out of town. We had danced before, but I was a little bit greener then. (Okay, I'm still green...) I couldn't quite remember - did we dance close? Was I still keeping my distance then? Seems like ages ago . . . He asked with a nod, and I accepted. At the edge of the crowded dance floor, he offered his close embrace. I wonder if he noticed I was relieved. The music started and in a moment I found it - the sweet spot on his chest. I could hear the music through him. Even the crazy Santana piece later. (Things get a little wild tow...

Warming up the floor at Texas French Bread Bakery. Pure bliss. Coming home from the Texas French Bread Bakery milonga . . . My skin and clothes smell like coffee, baked bread, and men's cologne. Es la dulce vida . . .

There is always going to be someone better at what you do, than you are. There's always going to be someone prettier, or smarter, or faster, or stronger. That's the way of the world. But no one can be you , better than you. Get a sense of your self, who you are and the way you are in the world. There will never be anyone else exactly like you - so get that right. From March 28, 2010. Notes I never published, but meant to, from an amazing lesson with Darryl Gaston and Phyllis Williams . Darryl was standing in front me, scowling slightly, searching for the right words. He felt like he was looming over me, though truly he's not that big. He just feels big. He fills the room, he's so present . I fought the urge to back up. (Like so many followers, I was "forward phobic" - I couldn't walk forward into my partner without hesitating, or back weighting.) "When you walk forward, I want you to walk into me," he spread his fingers over his chest, "int...